Words, Music, and Sports: Advice

Words

If you hear someone pronounce a word incorrectly make sure you correct them immediately and mock them so much that they don’t try to say more words they’re not 100% sure about. Then you can continue to say all of your words that you know perfectly with 100% confidence for the rest of your life.

Music

Some music is better than other music. But only you know the difference. Tell everybody what music is actually good. Also tell them why the music they enjoy is bad. Even if they insist that love it they shouldn’t because remember: only you know what is good and what is bad music. You know this because you’re the best at ranking every genre, album and song for some reason.

Sports

If someone has just started to enjoy a sports team, but you have liked that same team for a longer time than they have, you have to make sure you shut them down and call them “bandwagon” fans. Ask them questions that you know they won’t know so you feel better about yourself – whatever you do don’t teach them about the team they are showing interest in. You have to remember that there’s a limited amount of team spirit and you have to save it for yourself in order to have a good time. You must not make your team feel welcoming to new fans – don’t forget that their enjoyment directly effects how much you enjoy your team. I don’t make the rules.

One More Thing

Don’t do any of these things.

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